So you want to know what it is that is the “ultimate in rare and sweaty moments eh”…we could take this into a number of different avenues… like the low hanging fruit on this branch is sex… you have children and realize that after children sometimes sex is indeed a rare and sweaty moment… I will grant you that this is so. However, the rare and sweaty moment that I am speaking of is the moment when you realize that you are meant for just a little bit more than sitting on your ass and thinking about life.
That rare and sweaty moment when you push past talking about your next move and your next move… and the move after that… the move that says… I am thinking about throwing up… that sweat isn’t from exertion, it is from FEAR… cold sweat… everyone said you could do this but you haven’t taken action on this yet sweat… it’s easy to remember what I had for breakfast because I can taste it trying to get back out of my stomach sweat.
That may actually describe the moment when you realized you were about to have your first child.
What were some of your thoughts?
Some of my first thoughts were:
This is fucking awesome!
I thought I was sterile!
Eggs don’t stand a chance!
I can’t believe I get the opportunity to be a father!
Wait a second… I don’t have any idea how to do this…
They are going to need a lot of things… I don’t have any of those things… gonna need a crib… diapers… diapers cost a fortune!
Shit… the house is gonna be a Mickey Mouse Funhouse… am I gonna have to stop playing World of Warcraft?
Is this really happening?!
These were some of my honest first thoughts… I had no idea what I was stepping into… The hospital had no idea what kind of father I was going to be… there was no application… there was no interview… this is a freaking human life that you are trusting me with… you may want to check some of my references at least. No? Take this human life and go, even after what I have done with mine… ok.
No amount of preparation will get you set for the real thing. I have actually found this to be the same in every job I have ever had. There are descriptions, there are roles… there are certain types of people that fit into certain roles for sure… but there is no true prep that I have ever done to fulfill the roles that I have filled.
To be honest, I have never taken a job (outside of bartending and serving tables) that existed until I had it… what does that even mean?
What it means is that life is an exercise in searching for what you are great at, what you are interested in, and will open its doors for you if you allow it… and if you believe in yourself…
I am precisely the father that I imagined that I would be… I have created the community of fathers that I thought that I would and I have created an amazing life for myself, and continue to do so.
Admittedly most of that had been done unconsciously, not like I was knocked out and dreamt up the whole scene… but I had not been an active participant in my own life and somehow it had turned out pretty great.
I can now look back and point to a few areas that had been pivot points… one of those was recognizing that I had someone else believe in me and loved me unconditionally outside of my family… and that one fan to the spark within me began to glow.
Looking for opportunities to grow… taking jobs that I had never considered myself capable of before and growing into them… taking the jobs to learn from them and not simply for the wages that they offered…
Investing in myself, sending myself back to school… believing that it was worth it to do so… following my curiosity…
This is all said in hindsight of course. When it was all in motion it was beautiful chaos… searching for the next big thing… sometimes reminding myself to take note of the best things that were happening… I had a young boy in my midst and number two was having a tough time showing up.
Whats this note about? The ultimate sweaty and rare moment… today… now… this moment is what your life has lead up to. If you feel that you are not taking the action in your life… that is CREATING these moments, recognizing these moments for what they are… perhaps we should chat… these moments can indeed be YOUR CREATIONS. By some crazy calculated miracle, YOU have been born… and have been able to participate in the creation of ANOTHER miracle… your first child, perhaps more than one… the odds of that happening are pretty much stacked AGAINST you… and YOU BEAT those odds… what else does life have in store for you?
These past few months Fatherhood for the Rest of Us has been on a roll – we have been focused on what Fatherhood for the Rest of Us actually is:
It is the ONLY Fatherhood Mindset group on Facebook… how do I know? Don’t ask… take my word for it. We are focused on providing you with fatherly tidbits, sure… but getting your head into peak performance mode… WHATEVER that means to YOU.
We surround you with other successful men, we surround you with other men excited for YOUR goals, dreams, and visions.
We provide you with tools and videos and guides that you can use and peruse at your own leisure.
We provide you with the capability to have group conversations if YOU want to take it beyond perusing.
We provide you with the support of one on one to help you MAXIMIZE your time being an active participant in your own life.
That’s the tip of the iceberg… stay tuned as we continue to grow and develop together!
Check into the group here: