Welcome back to our humble show! Thanks for tuning in =) – I want to say thank you to my brother in-law doing this episode, in my eyes he is a true hero. He has been in service to our country for at least as long as I have known him now which is 17+ years. He is the proud and loving father to five beautiful young girls and is a great husband to his wife. This is really a conversation that he and I never really had the opportunity to have. We were able to discuss a little bit about what it is like to be a father in the military and being away from home as often as he is. He also speaks about how the military made it possible to forge friendships that may have otherwise not have taken place had he been a civilian. This is one among many other topics that we discuss throughout this podcast, one of the others includes faith. In addition, Matt brought up the word mercy, which for some reason had a huge impact on me. We are running around hog wild in a positive manner, abundance and other great words in life like momentum etc, however, when he said mercy, it was said in such a sincere manner, nearly reverent.
Here is the definition, which I had to review again simply to take it in:
Compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one’s power to punish or harm.
If you do enjoy this episode please do head over to iTunes to leave a five star rating along with a review, I would love to hear from you!
Transcript through Auphonic & Google Speech Recognition API:
[0:19] Turn off father good too.
[0:23] Hey there welcome to fatherhood for the rest of us forgot who I was what I was doing and what we’re here to do,
Today presenting you with our Memorial Day week episode it just happens to be that I just recently interviewed my brother-in-law Matt.
We had a really nice discussion it’s really more of a conversation he and I just never had the opportunity to have discussed in what it’s like to,
Ray’s five girls and be in the military and also in service to our country Matt has been in service to the country for at least 17 years now still to this day is,
and inserted a country I mean I know I can talk about a little bit what he does but not so much I just kind of leave it all out there alone.
Suffice to say that,
are you still involved in in quite some dangerous work and he is the specialized line and I’m just kind of leave it at that but what we talked about was the opportune what we talked about was.
He’s often gone and has been throughout the years either on tours out to.
I’m at least as well as various other places or in training evolved in training to is often not at home but when he is he’s a very present father.
And is very involved in Hands-On with his five girls and.
[1:56] That’s really entertaining to see from me my perspective is here’s a guy that seemed quite a bit and involved in quite a bit of.
I’m guessing violence I’m a little dig too deep into it with them I just kind of let him be and if he wants to share things and then I guess if he wants to then 11 bring it up.
I printed off on side like I must say hey you can’t snot like I’m let anybody do it but anyway I think you get what I’m saying there substance Tennessee somebody.
Is involved in in that type of work in that line of work being at home and surrounded by his family is probably a safe haven at that time so I’m sure that being surrounded by 5.
Daughters plus his wife is a lot estrogen going on and maybe isn’t always a safe haven as most guys would take it.
However it’s it’s an honor for me to present this one to you guys,
and I had really just want to say thanks again to Matt I appreciate,
you taking the time to be on this show and the service that you’ve done to this country so and to all the veterans out there,
who are still with us and have gone and passed away my grandfather was World War II I miss him dearly and I really appreciate if course the service too.
You done even though I really didn’t take it to heart as I was growing up but I certainly realize now that everybody who participates in that.
[3:26] Personalized online for us and that’s a huge huge you know they do it most the times for our freedom and safety if not number of other other reasons.
So thank you to all the veterans and for those of you that haven’t Here Comes plugs so you can fly fast forward about 30 seconds if you want to miss the plugs but you know hey reach out to me on Brandon G Handley.
Twitter Instagram Facebook you can also join we’ve got a Facebook group.
That is building the community’s building we’re getting there you can find us on fatherhoodfortherestofus group I will give you access immediately just reach out to me if social media is not your thing.
Then go ahead and reach out to me at Brandon at fatherhoodfortherestofus.com and I’ll respond to your email as quickly as I can.
Other than that make sure you have gotten your ebook.
If you haven’t gotten that already you can get that at fatherhoodfortherestofus.com there’s going to be a sign in as soon as you get there sign in.
Get the book and show it read it reach out to me let me know what your thoughts were Jeremy.
Todd’s reached out to me said he really enjoyed the book thanks Jeremy for that Meg my wife of course I’ve yet I know she’s close to me but she would let me know if it was not such a good read and I feel like she’s been.
Really honest with me on that she said it was also she enjoyed reading it as well lot a lot of input from her on that as well so guys make sure you get out there and grab it and enjoy it other than that on with the show we will see you soon.
[5:10] Call is now being recorded.
A perfect man.
Along with Matt today guys.
Funny to me I’m thinking about this earlier then each other for about 7 years now.
That’s about like raising kids are too much super deep conversation.
I don’t think that’s right.
The military people in the military.
[6:46] Thank you.
And maybe we can start off with just maybe how you grew up what was the family life like and maybe when you join the military.
My family life is good growing up my mom had married a guy and had.
Two kids and I got divorced and married my dad had me so my brother and sister my half brother and sister but it was totally transparent who loves far as we were concerned we are all brothers and sisters.
Play shoot there at all that grew up with an older brother and older sister varied about religious Catholic Family which I think.
[7:37] What shape my life and where I’m at today it’s the base of everything that I am.
Pusateri one form or another.
Is my mom came from 12 my dad came from fix out a lot of cousins to marry my brother-in-law.
No just grown up around it it was just kind of normal and things that start with your country one person for.
What’s my light when I grow up get a real job I’m going to be in the next four years.
Actually it’s my cousin.
Got me to finally join the Marine Corps I was going to join after them after high school but I broke my leg so bad that it required a waiver.
I’m going to take a long time to start a community college and I almost forgot about that time. Had gone by one of my close cousins join the Army.
[9:20] When I was 18 my high school of slim down a huge hill.
[9:33] Never knew that.
Warts on your disappointing and maybe some of the train.
[10:04] What is teacher about yourself and what is it you.
Initial training basic training like the name century.
If they played a competitive.
Set an alarm note character that sports teams and Mike through to the military certainly built my character.
Tell us a lot of character and I go back to the base.
Where I came from my mother and father raising me and I’ll hit on this again and again I’m not not like a bible-thumper by any chance that I put a lot of emphasis on my religion.
You know I don’t wear it on my sleeve it’s part of everything.
More so and built upon more she’ll when I enter the Special Operations community so how was your day how was your day.
In the training or what does the scenario.
[11:33] When you’re faced with certain challenges or the gun training or combat there’s time there’s things that truly will shake people to the Core.
Yeah it’s really a couple close to breaking them or have broken them mentally others can withstand that a little bit better.
Botanica on real real life stuff in combat.
Feeling of not having therapy.
A guiding compass for you.
Repeating realm in like minded individuals.
[13:07] Training collection prom dresses or axle combat in there with your brother and it’s too lean on each other enough time.
[13:19] But I think.
[13:34] And I think that’s shoes.
[13:57] Japan I think that’s a little bit.
This out here like diversity one America.
[14:24] Text Jen I would have never been friends with only because we were separated geographically didn’t have to pay those drawings and then to our diversity.
Sorry about that I was just a matter of.
Religion ethnic diversity in awful dead.
Pour It Up sexual orientation what you hear a lot about an hour I think.
7 guys from the streets of New York.
Yeah I know.
What airlines just like I would for them.
Any other thing outside of the military we would probably be like right.
[16:04] Tell a guy from the LA 3 game brought to the group.
Very smart kid but when he did he broke down some of those barriers I tried to get the same for him you know he some some weight gain from East Coast Suburbia you know any he has what he saying.
Zipcar for probably.
Cartoon very similar reason and.
I don’t know.
More worried about Unity instead of no.
Do you set the alarm those lessons are you able to hide an engine.
[17:40] Are you able now.
[17:50] Keep them away from.
What’s the trendy for me right now.
[18:07] Make everyone different.
[18:16] Don’t be so offended if you will you hear that a lot like hey you know everyone’s got their right their own opinion if you don’t like it big deal you know.
Bill feeling up quote Uncle offended and don’t be so damn sensitive all the time.
True that cat is in the garage list from LA.
My perception of him when we first got together with.
With the kiddos you know they see someone on the street and they automatically.
Start making sense.
Judging right now.
Play Play that one person who may be with me and Adam are mean to them when they are said something.
Temperature tonight maybe if they happen to be having to work day like right now.
[19:35] Set another people that you just never know what someone else.
10 in a number of ways.
[19:58] What made you decide to keep going that route to turn to turn into a career.
[20:06] To be honest with you my original.
Playing with four years in the Marine Corps get out and become a police officer question my friends that we’re already.
Play song that Pat and then my last appointment right before I got out.
Iran lifted paid on and did a few tours overseas and then I could not out for years after that I stayed on.
Still within the National Security people you know on.
Turn into things this too is I know that you.
[21:15] What’s the whitest player in running.
The most part of our life mostly.
Everyone’s different so there are families that you have a lot of difficulty dealing with that type of work very lucky.
Stop my wife is very independent and very good about it so you can example through we were married and she went through.
Ranging from 6 months 10 months Heat.
Before kids come after that but we were younger and that in the military.
When are you playing or Wednesday.
[22:50] What should I be leaving soon.
Shot caller she doesn’t have to run anything past anyone else she just makes plans and she acts to know now.
[23:18] Fake plants.
People are different she does really well with the kids and she gets them done up here.
Skipping with me being a lot easier for me.
You know for me I miss my family very much when I’m away for long periods of time but.
Protect and keep me busy.
I should think about my family.
[24:11] When you know what I’m saying.
I think the discipline.
You’ve got to be in when you’re out on Thursday due to the eat.
What clean theraplay a guys I know who where I’m at now or for even in the military pay.
Good luck to train in and we’re in a lot that you didn’t have the same life experience you’ll be two totally different type of operator out there.
Will do anything in almost wishing wishing to get into scrap here in there and say you know be careful what you wish for and then.
It’s real fast you know when your training for it you want to do it.
[25:42] And then when you first get a really good first taste of it not just like a little Skirmish but like an ocean really good taste of it so now you have a different perspective.
Turn down this is real.
Who you are or if you’re going to go right back out and do it and I did he just look at it from a different angle.
Marine piss and vinegar.
[27:39] Put on again.
Can you go into Skyrim.
[27:53] Is that really just making them first you being a dad when you get home to stay in your children that much more.
Yeah I mean it certainly does make you more grateful I’m thankful everyday because.
Some of the things and that we don’t have a moment out on the road you know and you’re traveling on the interstate.
I’m thinking about dreaming about whatever I was going to the baseball game and the thing happened then.
Anything for a minute you know.
Skip that I’m here at work.
Pick and dramatic it’s going to be like at home changing to look at something you never.
Now where were we.
[29:25] Can wake up the kids do it right now and I understand.
If they just grow up around it and hear it enough from Dad and Mom you know me when they get older.
Like for a minute that was talking about be thankful for every day that you just never know.
And I think one of me and made me get.
When you were like on a Mountainside it was on the snow for like a week or two and you’re studying for like your test.
What should I do still going and there’s no excuse for me.
Not having to do a lot of stuff from the cell so I imagine this also keeps your kids saying.
[30:42] I don’t know.
[30:53] I hope they learn from me by watching and seeing what I do so I kind of live my life no saying like.
[31:05] Night Train.
Repeat my kids every day how to do the right thing and on occasion I can see about it you know what I’m saying I want them to learn from me by observing the team.
Turn it on occasion I might have to talk to you know.
Just being around mom and dad and they’re doing the right thing and they’re tricking people night pillow talking.
Raising her voice a little bit and I just reminder I rarely if ever raise my voice and my kids and I do they know.
[32:07] The calm cool demeanor when you’re talking and even though my oldest daughter still.
Lesson over the past year or so and I hope.
Observing me and the way I speak to her and I.
I think that way.
What was great about where you guys are.
When you watch faces.
Yeah definitely got plan it.
That’s a good thing I don’t live where I grew up earlier I have a huge extended family and growing up every Sunday was over at my grandmother’s house.
35 pack in Chinese Sunday dinner you know you just sweat.
Because I haven’t looked at home in over 20 years.
Going and Community or where I’m at now.
For the network that we built you know in in our little Community Place that families.
[34:04] How to say created a closeness.
Liam does it suit.
Do you have any other books that I was a power.
[34:53] What’s the nearest.
Another highly is there any other books that you would recommend.
Now you’re talking like in that genre of like survival and Basic Instinct thing we get to beer is definitely a good one there’s another one that’s a little bit more.
Angled towards military guys theme deal called Left of bang.
Sport tied into Pavilion.
[35:41] If I remember it’s been so long since I sometimes my kids.
It’s not about that it’s about human survival.
[36:15] Cooking Light Company.
It’s not like real profile profile.
Play vintage people are so afraid to offend and they’re trying to be sensitive.
And it’s not about fighting or shooting pushing their learning also but it’s about staying ahead of it.
Play TV for an incident happen recognizing the signs and that comes down to behavioral,
profile engage your brain you know before you can gauge any other night I read a whole bunch of.
Is there anything.
Recommended more than.
[37:35] Trying to think.
[37:43] Find I mean in history political history history.
Not too much religion cereal.
[38:01] Periodically Arielle read something along those lines Financial stuff is something every because I want to help my kid.
Can I please get older financial responsibility.
Make a confident individual responsibility.
NEC Latin America.
Winston hey I got a bad grade school it’s because my teacher something I’m like nope I mean.
Their failure and I don’t accept that in my house so.
Tell me look at anything else when I’m shooting anytime I’m shooting and I meant the first thing.
What did I do wrong and then I run down on it and if everything’s looking good then maybe I’ll start looking at mechanical issues or ammunition issues.
Sorry again I’m going on a tangent by yourself accountable,
and on the outcome.
[39:35] Countdown maybe we come from a very traditional family so if you’re asking about them I don’t know what the audience likes I generally lean more conservative and traditional.
Mya Framing and stuff.
Everything paid for but at least one of them when I get older I’m not going to get put in the nursing home.
Can I hopefully have a built-in retirement.
The five girls there.
[41:08] I’ve had some friends who were older and like when they first started having kids ask me like what do you do.
When your new parents your first kid no one has any idea what they’re doing is going to figure it out and.
What do I do.
My kids are taught me and I’ve learned along the way you’re never going to be that perfect parents tried as best you can bottom line is what it all comes down.
What’s the matter the decision that you make how you’re bringing up your kids it’s just a matter of loving them.
Who do the light on.
[42:24] It’s different for everyone but generally the first three got theirs at AJ.
Pop the time that I love them and tell them that they never forget though.
[43:09] I don’t care.
[43:14] Tell my I think.
People family or someone says about you.
And I finally.
What what do you think.
Can we talk about that.
[44:36] Sync I think the oldest one probably think them until we sell it they don’t have a whole lot of outwardly.
Emotions on my sleeve I’m very.
[44:52] Like I said earlier when I’m arguing with this one or anyone for that matter.
[44:59] Okay cool I’ll raise my voice.
But I’m generally.
Play pretty pretty stellar personality.
I don’t I don’t shy away from hugging them kissing them in public every night give him a hug and kiss you know and every morning and throughout the day too so I never shy away from that physical contact.
You know hugs and kisses all the time.
[45:57] Stronger series that time it still able to pull down the defenses and give them hugs.
[46:19] You got some good job man.
Is all questions probably that did to my mind throughout the years.
Right now or just again.
I hear that and I’m thankful for you to share some of this with me thank you very much.