So you want to know what it is that is the “ultimate in rare and sweaty moments eh”…we could take this into a number of different avenues… like the low hanging fruit on this branch is sex… you have children and realize that after children sometimes sex is indeed a rare and sweaty moment… I will grant you that this is so.  However, the rare and sweaty moment that I am speaking of is the moment when you realize that you are meant for just a little bit more than sitting on your ass and thinking about life.

That rare and sweaty moment when you push past talking about your next move and your next move… and the move after that… the move that says… I am thinking about throwing up… that sweat isn’t from exertion, it is from FEAR… cold sweat… everyone said you could do this but you haven’t taken action on this yet sweat… it’s easy to remember what I had for breakfast because I can taste it trying to get back out of my stomach sweat.

That may actually describe the moment when you realized you were about to have your first child.

What were some of your thoughts?

Some of my first thoughts were:

This is fucking awesome!
I thought I was sterile!
Eggs don’t stand a chance!
I can’t believe I get the opportunity to be a father!
Wait a second… I don’t have any idea how to do this…
They are going to need a lot of things… I don’t have any of those things… gonna need a crib… diapers… diapers cost a fortune!
Shit… the house is gonna be a Mickey Mouse Funhouse… am I gonna have to stop playing World of Warcraft?
Is this really happening?!

These were some of my honest first thoughts… I had no idea what I was stepping into… The hospital had no idea what kind of father I was going to be… there was no application… there was no interview… this is a freaking human life that you are trusting me with… you may want to check some of my references at least.  No?  Take this human life and go, even after what I have done with mine… ok.

No amount of preparation will get you set for the real thing.  I have actually found this to be the same in every job I have ever had. There are descriptions, there are roles… there are certain types of people that fit into certain roles for sure… but there is no true prep that I have ever done to fulfill the roles that I have filled.

To be honest, I have never taken a job (outside of bartending and serving tables) that existed until I had it… what does that even mean?

What it means is that life is an exercise in searching for what you are great at, what you are interested in, and will open its doors for you if you allow it… and if you believe in yourself…

I am precisely the father that I imagined that I would be… I have created the community of fathers that I thought that I would and I have created an amazing life for myself, and continue to do so.

Admittedly most of that had been done unconsciously, not like I was knocked out and dreamt up the whole scene… but I had not been an active participant in my own life and somehow it had turned out pretty great.

I can now look back and point to a few areas that had been pivot points… one of those was recognizing that I had someone else believe in me and loved me unconditionally outside of my family… and that one fan to the spark within me began to glow.

Looking for opportunities to grow… taking jobs that I had never considered myself capable of before and growing into them… taking the jobs to learn from them and not simply for the wages that they offered…

Investing in myself, sending myself back to school… believing that it was worth it to do so… following my curiosity…

This is all said in hindsight of course. When it was all in motion it was beautiful chaos… searching for the next big thing… sometimes reminding myself to take note of the best things that were happening… I had a young boy in my midst and number two was having a tough time showing up.

Whats this note about?  The ultimate sweaty and rare moment… today… now… this moment is what your life has  lead up to.  If you feel that you are not taking the action in your life… that is CREATING these moments, recognizing these moments for what they are… perhaps we should chat… these moments can indeed be YOUR CREATIONS.  By some crazy calculated miracle, YOU have been born… and have been able to participate in the creation of ANOTHER miracle… your first child, perhaps more than one… the odds of that happening are pretty much stacked AGAINST you… and YOU BEAT those odds… what else does life have in store for you?

These past few months Fatherhood for the Rest of Us has been on a roll – we have been focused on what Fatherhood for the Rest of Us actually is:

It is the ONLY Fatherhood Mindset group on Facebook… how do I know?  Don’t ask… take my word for it.  We are focused on providing you with fatherly tidbits, sure… but getting your head into peak performance mode… WHATEVER that means to YOU.

We surround you with other successful men, we surround you with other men excited for YOUR goals, dreams, and visions.

We provide you with tools and videos and guides that you can use and peruse at your own leisure.

We provide you with the capability to have group conversations if YOU want to take it beyond perusing.

We provide you with the support of one on one to help you MAXIMIZE your time being an active participant in your own life.

That’s the tip of the iceberg… stay tuned as we continue to grow and develop together!

Check into the group here:

My guess is that you really don’t stare at the sun.

Why not?

Because you already know its a bad idea!

There are a ton of bad ideas out there, and that one is just the tip of the iceberg.

I am guessing that you have taken action on more than one of your past bad ideas and perhaps you are even feeling guilty for it… even if it happened a month ago, a year ago or even 10 years ago.

You probably keep telling yourself some sort of story of how you did xyz and that made you a bad person.

Or you had xyz habit and if people ever found out then the world would come crashing down. (rumble crumble crashing sound effects)

Guess what… the story you are telling yourself is like an anchor keeping your little dingy out in the ocean of desolation and despair… and I am guessing that you have told your story repeatedly to your friends and your family… and eek… even your children.

Don’t do what dad did when he was a young lad or else you will end up just not quite making it… you will do better than I did… moaning, don’t be like me…

So long as you continue to act like this, rolling around on the ground clutching your blanky and telling this story… it will stay your story.

You don’t have to stay in this space… you have an amazing set of tools RIGHT at your fingertips… this very INSTANT!

REFRAME that shit… what was really happening? What is a fresh perspective you could put on that story?

Was it ALL your fault? Was it ALL her fault? Does it REALLY even MATTER at all? Was it just a small thing to cling onto because even if it was YOUR fault, you were taking EVERYONE down with you!

You don’t think like this… you are a kind and gentle person, with intentions of nothing but the best for everyone… there is a great chance that you were misunderstood… the words came out wrong…

Her story is probably similar, perhaps she had a bad day at work… some jackenheimer was hitting on her at work and it just put her in such a shitty all men are jerks mood…

It doesn’t take much these days to spin it all out of control because of the stress that you put on yourself to succeed, to show your spouse, your family, your children etc that you have what it takes to push it to the next level, but you just can’t figure out why you dipkeep spinning your wheels in the dirt.

This much is true… it’s not your backstory… its not the lines of cocaine you did in the bathroom, the joint you smoked over Mardis Gras or that one time you did the one thing that you will never utter to anyone… no one knows that one.

Here are two quick examples of how I am certain that it is not your back story keeping you from achieving what you want to achieve:

Jay Shetty – if you haven’t heard of this guy yet, you will soon, first of all, because I am telling you about him right now. Not only that, but there is a link to his full story below.

Short version – essentially an English bad boy, who hung out with gangsters and the like in his teens.

Jay lost two of his best friends when he was 16, one in a car accident and the other due to gang violence.

Jay meets a monk at age 18 who inspires him to think of life in a different manner. One with purpose and meaning.

He graduates with honors from his business school after studying behavorial science at the age of 22, and then dips into being a monk for the next three years.

He comes back to the land of business after his friends ask him to speak about his way of living as a monk… the meditation in extreme conditions (hot & cold), mind control (his own) and breathing control in order to combat stresses of the everyday world.

And somewhere along the way becomes a viral sensation and continues to speak and have an impact worldwide.

My Story

The other guy – President George Bush Jr. – Look, the guy was a party animal in college, had two DUI’s and still became president of the USA for EIGHT freaking years… sure he had some connections, but sheesh… come on…

Look all I am saying here is that most of us have a back story that we could cling onto and tell ourselves that we can’t make it because…

What I am telling you is that you can also reframe that story and use it to your advantage… what did you learn in those incidents?

Those are the incidents that molded you, shaped you into the bad ass that you are today, have NO DOUBTS about that… none.

Ok now… where are we and what are we doing…

If you missed The Science of Getting Rich Webinar for whatever reason, I will NOT be presenting it again, but I did record it and you can catch the replay here:

I will continue the deep dive into this book and one of the biggest reasons to do so is that the more you teach something the more you learn about it.

Keep an eye on the Fatherhood for the Rest of Us page on FB for more info, and be sure to like and share if you do!
https://www.facebook.com/fatherhoodfortherestofus/

Recently Finished Reading:

Only Dead on the Inside: A parents guide to Surviving the Zombie Apocalypse – James Breakwell (Exploding Unicorn) I will be interviewing him 5/27 9 PM EST – keep an eye out on FB Page https://www.facebook.com/fatherhoodfortherestofus/

Friday Nigh Lights for Fathers & Daughters – 10 Life Lessons. 10 Faith Driven Episodes. Liftime Memories – Mark LaMaster (interview here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cKdcGTrtS4s)

Currently Reading:
Parenting with Love & Logic

Latest adventure:
My wife Meg & I have begun to do a little morning show on Saturdays. Catch the latest one here:

Gotta drive for endless hours?

Sirius 90’s not gonna cut it?

Singing songs with your family a certain death?

One more podcast… to add to the list… perhaps…

I, of course, would recommend Fatherhood for the Rest of Us.

This round I chose to use Audible & listen to some books that had been gathering *digital dust* – it’s a thing.

So, while Meg helped me navigatetraffic & kept the boys in line, helped them eat, adjust the ipads and listened to shows of her own selecting I listened to the following books:

The Science of Getting Rich – Wallace Waddle-

free here https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ur9GR9Q_6Xc
Anyone who has read Think and grow Rich who hasn’t tried this one out is missing out.

I currently have it on a daily rotation… feel free to ask me why.

Mind Hacking: How to Change Your Mind for Good in 21 Days

This book is great for anyone who is into computers and looking to change some habits.

There was a lot for me to align with in here… primarily how life changed for the author after he quit drinking.

https://amzn.to/2r7jbMC

Triggers
Creating Behavior That Lasts – Becoming the Person You Want to Be

This book is for the person who wants to be gently coached and achieve things at their own pace… it reminded me of something like “Therapy +”

It is actually more impactful than that… however… the final book in the list made it seem more like “Therapy +” (We are not there yet)

One of the best lines in here was something along the lines of:

Are you being a professional at work and an amateur at home?

WHOA…

https://amzn.to/2r7Btwt

Now – I wasn’t aware of this feature prior to our trip but there was a Prime Members option to listen to streaming books – playlists… pretty awesome… upon inspection one of the channels was “You & Improved”

Within that list I found Buddhism for Beginners… well now, this is up my alley. I knew a few things regarding Buddhism, but this book brought to light, illuminated…. enlightened me if you will on a number of topics, thoughts or ideas as they related.

Pretty cool that I was able to stream this one for free… perhaps you will be able to as well?

https://amzn.to/2jgs16q

Finally, and I have to be honest I had been waiting for this one and prayed that I would be able to hear the whole thing on the ride home…

Relentless: From Good to Great to Unstoppable

Punctuated by an F-Bomb or A-Hole from timeto time, it was filled with good humor and a don’t waste my time attitude…

This book is for the person who doesn’t want to have their hand held, they want to be pushed off the wall… for the person who has been thinking they have been pushing themselves, but after listening to this book realizes they have been peddling nonsense and needs to up the ante, grab their balls and dip them in steel.

One of the lines in this book that cracked me up was:

It’s not whether or not your glass is half full or half empty, you either have something in the glass or you don’t.

LOL

https://amzn.to/2HyaGEG

Do audible books take the place of actually reading them?

NO…

Will listening to books as you drive along 95 for hours at a time help you become a more productive driven member of society?

Who cares… but that’s how this trip rolled!