Become a Fearless Father | Klaas van Oosterhout

Join us as we speak to Klaas van Oosterhout as we discuss his goal of helping fathers along their path of becoming a fearless father and motivate other fathers to find their path to becoming the world’s #1 dad.

Check out Klaas’s amazing youtube channel:

Become a Fearless Father YouTube Channel

Connect with Klaas on FB & join the amazing Become a Fearless Father group (Click the blue to join)!

 

 

Transcription by Zoom

 

54321 Hey there Fatherhood for the Rest of Us. It is Brandon Handley the voice of a generation. I know it’s been a bit, but you know, I’m still around, and I am happy to present to you today, the creator of fearless fatherhood cost as to how to how to do, how to do with that class.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
01:12
Was that alright?
 brandon handley
01:16
So, so, uh, you know, what’s what’s great about Klaus is that he is a Danish right yeah
01:23
Dean. Hmm.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
01:24
Dutch
 brandon handley
01:25
Was that is that different from Dane.
01:27
Oh yeah. Is it
01:28
The other way now man so
01:31
So, but you’re and you live in Spain. Right.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
01:35
That’s absolutely correct. Yeah.
 brandon handley
01:36
Right, right. So what, and so I know, I know. Another guy out this way similar story. And so I asked Klaus. I said, Man, or a lot, a lot, a lot of you know Dutch to live in Spain, and you said
 Klaas van Oosterhout
01:51
Yo,
 brandon handley
01:52
There’s
 Klaas van Oosterhout
01:53
When he was around. Yeah, absolutely.
01:56
Man.
01:57
We’re small country we love to travel, we have to
01:59
Find new
02:02
Beautiful Things along the horizon, and then never come back.
 brandon handley
02:09
I’ve got, I’ve got over here, and I’m not coming back and take my ball and I’m not coming back Klaas, do me a huge favor and what is something. What is something that we can help you celebrate today father for the rest of us. What is that we can help you celebrate to them.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
02:23
And we’ll see how we celebrate today, man. Just, just being being on the show for one is celebration for me.
02:29
And but one big celebration, man. I started my morning routine, as you know, I’m a big fan of morning routines. I love mine.
02:37
Right now, and I woke up at five at 520 I was doing my foam rolling and I had just
02:47
Crazy epiphany and it was just silly and I went online right away when life to thank somebody because this is all in himself.
02:56
And I had an interview with him. Six months ago and instead of starting you just start a real great instead of starting with hey
03:04
What’s. Who are you, what’s your background story right and somebody telling like hey I’m Klaas and blah, blah, blah. Because honestly, nobody nobody really cares right
03:13
But want to see what can you do for me. What, what kind of nuggets that you have for me.
03:17
So I was just really scared and nervous, of all the interviews that I was doing and I had him on. And instead of him giving me the opportunity to ask him like, Hey, oh and give us a background story.
03:27
He just went in and just start talking about vision, right, the importance of vision and it’s blew me away because instead of starting the interview, like most people do with introductions. He just went and went, or what I said CRACK us hit that home run straight out of the bed.
03:48
And it didn’t really hit me, then it was just like wow, that’s weird. He’s changing my interview and I got even more nervous right
03:57
And then last week he posted a video explaining about his way of doing interviews and then he also said like, look, the first need to do is come out with the biggest, most important question of the whole interview. Why, because everybody gets that if we’ll get said
04:18
That golden know that biggest golden nugget straight from the bed and they get engaged and they stay and then you talk about who that person is. And it just
04:26
I don’t know why I was rolling and you know you use thinking and it was rolling in that bowl and it hurts and all of a sudden like BAM.
04:34
Like, hey. No, I understand. I gotta do that with my interviews well
 brandon handley
04:38
Let’s do it. Like, what is your gold nugget for us today. Why are you on the show.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
04:42
Yeah, absolutely. I appreciate you asking that. So that is actually at the moment. That was my biggest golden nugget for the day. Right.
04:50
I mean for myself and yeah
04:54
So thank you for having me on your show. Really appreciate it and not at all.
05:00
So that was just for for for me but but to to to elaborate on that even more because I pulled it out as it. That’s just a part of the interview right, get your way interviews and you make it attractive and I understand that.
05:14
But I started pulling that out for myself as an okay what do we do when we meet somebody.
05:19
You introduce yourself and you need the START TALKING RIGHT. Most of us, me included we start talking
05:25
Hey, I’m Klaas I’m Dutch and I’m always trying to make it look really cool like I’ve beeb all over the world and blah, blah, blah. And this is what I do.
05:33
And I am the founder become fearless father and I am the founder of Muy Thai pro and I am this and I am dead and nobody cares right?, so
05:42
Now sudden it’s like, Okay, I gotta find a way to change that around and what is one of the things that you can give somebody
05:52
And it’s not just a golden nugget that it’s just asking somebody, what do you do, um, you know, I had somebody I find is so
06:00
Awesome. Everybody’s associated you everybody’s on Facebook. Right. And we just send invites to everybody. And we just accept the invite. And that’s it. Right. How many people do you have in your Facebook account and they you’ve never spoken to each other at all.
 brandon handley
06:14
Right, right, right.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
06:15
The point is, like, why, why is that person there so I at least starts like everybody that accepts me. I say, Hey, thank you for accepting me
06:22
And, you know, have have a fantastic and inspiring day and that’s nice. Now, one person was, I think, the day before yesterday. He actually beat me to the point. So I sent him an invite. He accepted. And what did he do, he left me a
06:39
Short recording
06:41
Saying, Hey Klaas thank you for sending me the invite. Really appreciate. Hey look, man. I’m all about helping others if you think there’s anything I can do for you, let me know man. Are we happy to help you.
 brandon handley
06:53
Yes.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
06:54
And I was just like,
06:57
Man, that guy beat me. That guy just taught me something with with 30 seconds of his time making my day because I feel special.
07:04
Right. Right. And I was like,
07:08
Yo, that’s, that’s nice man, I gotta work on that even more like, you know, and that’s the next golden nugget that I’m going to share with everybody is like
07:15
It’s okay, that he’s so far ahead of me right because it’s a guy that I checked him out and he’s entrepreneurship is further away. He’s got older kids you see everything that he’s got that, you know, he’s got a way better together than I do.
07:31
I hope so because social media, you know, not everybody post reality as we both know but let’s assume for a second that he does that doesn’t matter. What matters is that where am I at?
07:41
Right, so I am the one now reaching out you sharing you a little bit message, but what can I do now to make that
07:47
Better than what I did yesterday. What can I do today that makes myself better than yesterday. Always looking at myself. And if I do look at people like for example you doing with
07:57
with fatherhood the rest of us, you know with with with your platform you’re, you’re so far ahead for me so I can be jealous and you have you I can be
08:05
Hating I can be whatever it is that that that provides negativity for you. And as well for me. Right. Right. Or I can decide
08:16
Wow, man. He’s and I’m going to let myself be inspired by what he’s doing. I’m going to let myself be inspired by the message that he share
08:23
I’m going to listen to him, not from a point of negative, you know, I’m going to go from a point of positivity where I’m going to pick out hey
08:31
What is he doing that I could improve on that I could use that I can improve from whom I was yesterday, not from Brandon is not from who whoever you look up to it, but from a standpoint of, I’m gonna let myself be inspired.
08:44
To put my standards at a, at a high level, and then work towards that on a level that I can do it right.
08:53
For sure. So that’s some of the things that have been hitting me this week I’ve had a very nice transformative week this week so
 brandon handley
09:00
It’s always great.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
09:01
Thought I would share that right away.
 brandon handley
09:03
I love it, I love it. Well guys, you know, I’m gonna, I’m gonna go ahead and and tell you who Klaas is because I don’t really do like one of those pull out intros at the beginning of the podcast or anything like that.
09:15
Because I’m lazy, um,
09:18
But the deals out Klaas.
09:20
Is you know you’ve been doing fearless fatherhood for you coming up on around nine months or so, if I’ve got my timing right, it seems to me like you started this round middle of 2018
09:31
And you know Klaas and I connected
09:36
Just through various people, I think we may have connected a little bit through Kenyon Zitzka
09:40
But we also just kind of connected through through the whole fatherhood on Facebook. There’s quite a you know, a group of men.
09:51
They kind of travel in these circles. Right. And as you as you are probably realizing yourself. The longer that you stick around. The more that you realize that there’s kind of like this core circle.
10:01
Of fathers who who continue to promote engage and encourage each other to continue in this field of encouraging other fathers to realize the importance of fatherhood.
10:18
And one of the things that I was, I loved about you. Was that your first, you know, coming out and you say, I want to reach out and connect with a million fathers. Right. And what I love about that class is that most people
10:34
Myself included when they start like well you know i just want to
10:38
I want to, I want to change one person’s life. I want to connect with one person, you know, and
10:42
And you took it. You just took it to another stratosphere, a whole nother space. And I was like, you know, I really love.
10:48
That ambition about it, right. You said a number you set a goal, and it’s it’s completely achievable, especially with today’s environment. How did you you know and and the other thing I realized, too, is I believe your kids. How old are your children.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
11:02
So I’ve got two boys.
11:04
Use me and then the youngest one is three. And you always want to five.
 brandon handley
11:08
Right. So the other thing I kind of had a just a curiosity is what inspired this the step into into this. It’s a tough field.
11:21
It’s a very, very challenging field. That is the challenge is to acquire
11:29
Clients acquire patrons of your, of your fatherhood service. And so what inspired you to my kids weren’t. And the reason I asked, because I believe my kids were a similar age when
11:41
When I stepped into it. So I began to start looking at patterns and trends right so I’m like, Well, you know, is it a pattern. Is it a trend that, you know, the kids are certain age father’s realize
11:50
You know just how important fatherhood is a go ahead and tell me though. Like, what is it that uh you know inspires you to jump into it. What’s your passion behind it, that type of thing.
 Unknown Speaker
12:02
Mm hmm.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
12:04
Yeah. Appreciate that question a lot that goes into
12:07
My origin story, so to say everything pretty much when it comes to quality right so
12:14
We used to live in a different village close to where we live now in Spain and small village, and I was all about.
12:22
gym, getting fit and and building my own gym so I set up my own gym invest a lot of money and it will went down the drain and I lost it. I’m keeping it short. By the way, but
12:33
Story is a little longer than the nugget. There is that if you start something you always have to put in all your energy and if you don’t have your mind in it and your heart in it.
12:43
And don’t start because you’re gonna lose it. A lot of time or a lot of money in my case, this was a time and a lot of money all my money.
12:51
And at that moment, I had Jake was born. And I think Jacob was like three or four months with me. All of a sudden, no more money.
13:00
Nobody isn’t there’s no job, no nothing. Just my wife has her job and you’re stuck right. So, my wife is amazing. Let’s share that, first of all, she she helped me out getting over it. At least taking some really big.
13:15
Problems and pains away in like that. Right. So that’s said that you know the partnership is so important that your wife is not the same as you. But compliments you in the things that you can do. And that’s what she did for me. And then in two days crying right so you got a big male
 brandon handley
13:38
For sure.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
13:38
And I was just laying in bed, two days crying and I had of course my baby boy there and I was like looking at him, and I’m like, Okay, I can’t do this.
13:50
Right, I can’t lay here and cry and then have him around. That’s not the way it’s going to go. So I totally changed it look for a job found one in England.
14:01
Had to do an interview in Spain in Barcelona and they said, why you want to go to England, I said I don’t actually want to go, but I need a job and my Spanish is not that good. But let’s say we’re hiring.
14:11
And here in Barcelona was I talked to my wife, she said yeah, Barcelona would be a little nicer, we still be closer to at least her mom.
14:18
And we’re like, cool. So move through there and I stopped working and then all of a sudden hit me. I got this like a similar epiphany is like, okay, so now I’m not crying anymore. So now my son doesn’t see me as somebody laying in bed, not doing anything.
14:33
But now my son doesn’t see me.
14:34
Sure. Right now I’m traveling to Barcelona and for people that do not know how Barcelona is the traffic. Just imagine new york city traffic going in and out. That’s, that’s the same right
14:49
What takes you 15 minutes by car. Normally if there’s no traffic takes you like an hour and a half.
 brandon handley
14:54
Right.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
14:55
So I just lost a lot of time traveling and just not seeing my son. And then my second son was about to be born. And I’m like, I gotta change this now. During this time, I already started Muy Thai Pro. So that’s my online and white. I
15:10
Training business and I was already working that with a little bit, but what it was. And it’s still not where we want it to be financially.
15:19
But it’s moving up and
 brandon handley
15:21
I’ll stop there for a second, though. I mean, I know you told me the other day, you get a you know you sell a couple of books, a day and you sell a, you know, you’re, you’re making sales.
15:29
Online. And I think that
15:31
Once you know to me. I was impressed because I’m like look, that’s great. You know, maybe you’re not making a million dollars a day.
15:38
Maybe you’re not making six
15:39
Figures a day but you have uncovered something and you are making sales on a daily basis and you know it’s it’s just, it’s just a matter of time until that truly bears it’s it’s full fruit right you’re you’re you’re miles ahead of many other people so
16:00
I want to give you some kudos for that. So, recognize the fact that you are in a in a pretty awesome place right. As a matter of fact, I’m just gonna, I’m gonna jump in some more here Klaas because
16:09
I had this thought this morning, you know, a lot of people, you know, you know, way back in the day, it was like, come to America. The land of golden opportunity right
16:18
You know, the streets are paved with gold, but here we are. We’re the internet, right, come to the internet because the internet streets, are paved in gold.
16:24
And I believe that, you know, you’re making you’re making you’re showing this right, you’re in a whole nother land a whole nother place that’s not the United States of America and you’re having to me what I see as tremendous success.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
16:41
Yeah, I appreciate that.
16:44
Yeah gold is everywhere.
16:47
United States.
16:49
We have to work for it. That’s one and men look at it now. I wish I knew the things like three, four years ago when I when I started with Muy Thai Pro with the things that I know now.
17:03
Because it’s just this year. It’s just been absolutely insane like will be indeed have sales every single day and it’s not big based on money like you were like talking
 brandon handley
17:11
Is that it’s money it’s
17:13
Passive income, you are not you’re no longer
17:15
You’re not. You’re not at the cash register attending the till wasting your time all your time has been already invested in it. It is up, it is running, you do not have to be in attendance for it. You are making passive income and that’s impressive.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
17:32
Thank you. I appreciate that. So yeah, and that at beginning takes a lot of work and it takes
17:39
And a lot of work, a lot of time as well because you’re really trying to figure out what to do and and the biggest thing that I learned
17:49
And that’s, that’s why I started coaching now. So with become a fearless father I’m coaching now fathers to dig the same steps as me to become a dad preneur and what I call this the superhero that
18:04
Their kids need in their life, right, because that’s so important we and I always trying to remember people or remind people
18:13
You already are a superhero.
18:15
In a moment that your
18:17
son, daughter is in the world and you are their superhero you are that father right
18:24
I wouldn’t
18:25
The question is, and that’s a question that every single father must ask right away. And I learned that
18:32
A little too late, in my opinion, now
18:35
Is just asking yourself what kind of superhero. Do I want to be for my kid do I want to be that Father that just sits around works all day.
18:42
My kid doesn’t see me and then I come home, I sit on the couch. Don’t do anything I smoke or drink or whatever it is I treat my wife badly. If that’s the case, whenever it is
18:52
Is that the superhero that I want to be, or do I want to be that superhero that and, you know, has this morning routine works out trains reads and
19:01
Does things with their children in the morning, right, because for me. I wake up I do my morning routine for two hours. My kids starting to wake up and I can just focus purely on them.
19:12
Right, and that’s what I want. That’s for me. Right. Right. And the same. Now I got all the time in the world because they’re in school.
19:18
But as soon as it’s five o’clock. The first thing they will see when they get through that door is my face.
19:24
Right is mine, they will be, they will be holding my arms first and then we go to the park and then we’ll go nuts and I mean nuts. I always tell everybody. I am the biggest get into freakin Park every single time as much as possible as much as my energy allows
 brandon handley
19:39
It. Right, right.
19:40
And Klaas. Let me, let me do this real quick because I know we’ve got some we’ve got some time constraints on us today.
19:48
One thing I want to know that we can share with the audience is, is look each each coach has a different approach.
19:57
To to their program. If I was to sign up to coach today with Klaas van Oosterhout what, who, what, what would, what would the process look like he knows what type of coaching, can I expect to receive when I sign up with you.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
20:13
Beautiful question. I like that. So, for me, the most important thing right is and I’ve learned a lot from other coaches, because that’s why I started working with a coach and he’s teaching me and man.
20:26
The guys I’m working with. So I’m working with needy. So, boy, and I’m working with correct Cassidy, actually. One is from the US and the other one is from Australia. So I figure out the biggest the most first away places on one end and I’ll
20:37
Add
 brandon handley
20:37
 Klaas van Oosterhout
20:39
Yup, but
20:41
These guys. What makes them such good coaches and and that’s the way I work is
20:47
They asked, they talk to you, but they asked you questions the right questions that they need sort of first trying to really figure out where are you at, where do you want to go.
20:59
And then trying to figure out that and just just that most people do not have that most people do not know where they are truly are being real with themselves. And then most people don’t
21:11
Most definitely. Most of them don’t know where they want to go. So that will be the first process of really figuring out, okay. The, what is it that you really want right now from there what I’ve discovered is what’s so important and what helps
21:25
Every single father is gaining clarity of what’s most important to you.
21:32
And
21:34
I keep saying for most of the people that believe in God, God comes first. Right, so that’s that’s God. For me, I’m a spiritual man.
21:44
And for me, my kids come first. Even though I’m a spiritual and I don’t believe in God. My kids come first for me. And then my wife. There’s others that say, no, my wife comes first and then my kids, but I
21:57
I want to just make sure that for people that really try to sit down and that will be the first thing that I really work on
22:03
With any father out there is trying to determine what’s most important for you. And in that way, you’re going to approach everything that you need to do to to step up your game. Right, so that way.
 brandon handley
22:15
So Klaas. If I can watch and I say, I say God is the most important thing to me. My wife, my children. What do we do after that.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
22:23
So after that, we will determine like how do you see your ultimate picture when it comes to you and God right
22:32
How do you see your ultimate picture when and once we figure that out. Then we go to the next step.
22:36
How do you see your ultimate vision, you’re able to a dream towards your life with your wife with your partner. Right. Okay. How do you see yourself as a father when it comes to
22:50
Your kids raising your kids really responding to them right when they, when they erect, etc. And you build from there. And then after that you we’re going to start making a plan. Okay, so what needs to happen.
23:03
To make that all reality, trying to make sure because that’s that’s the biggest thing that happens, right, for example, I’ll right I see people writing like I take my wife on dates every single week, or there’s people that go every single day to to church right
23:20
And then other people are like here, but I can’t go every day to church. I want to, but I can’t. Right, so you get we go into negative and a lot of people then fall into that negative looking for excuses why we can’t
23:31
While there’s so many other different. So what I try to focus on then is, okay, how can we make sure that you can or how can we make sure that what we do next is the next best step towards achieving that ultimate dream because that’s the most important thing
 brandon handley
23:46
So you’re setting them up with like a little bit of momentum and you’re helping them overcome some limiting beliefs.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
23:53
Absolutely, absolutely. So the biggest thing is that once you have that goal or the biggest trap. I should say is, once you have that goal. Once you have that vision that vision might be really far away, right, it might be an ultimate picture.
24:07
Just, just a huge dream that you want to achieve. Let’s say for example you want a million dollars. And now you making zero
24:13
Right, you can’t assume that in a week, you’re going to make a million dollars. I mean, I
 brandon handley
24:18
Wait, why not Klaas?!
 Klaas van Oosterhout
24:19
Yeah.
24:20
You never know.
 brandon handley
24:21
That’s that sounds like a limiting belief to me Klaas and
 Klaas van Oosterhout
24:24
It is that, you know, everything is possible, however, you need some sort of strategy towards getting there, and then
24:30
Enter the focus first on how can I make my first seven bucks. How can I make my first buck.
24:36
So you know how to repeat this to get to that million
24:39
Right, right.
24:40
Right and
 brandon handley
24:41
And this is just to interject. I mean, that’s
24:44
That’s why. Like, I find that what you’re doing is exciting.
24:46
Because you have made your first book, you have major first you have repeat customers, you have a process that’s working.
24:53
And my assumption is that right now. It’s just a matter of tweaking it right. It’s the fine tuning until you get it adjusted until you
25:02
Create the vision that you’re talking about right and now it’s not even necessarily
25:07
That you’re telling these people to do something or trying to accomplish something that you’ve never done or haven’t gone through before you have this experience.
25:16
You have been doing it for a while now. You’ve also had the experience of failing and a business and getting back up again. And you know what that process is like to so
25:24
You know, all of these things. And I think that that’s exciting. And I think that to me. Those are some of the things that you bring to the table.
25:32
So sounds like you’ve got a pretty cool process working, what are the timeframes that you work do you do like three months, six months a year, whatever it takes one month at a time. What’s that look like
 Klaas van Oosterhout
25:43
So at the moment, just one month at a time.
25:45
Okay, right. And the reason for that as simple. I know there’s a lot of people out there that say, you know, you have to commit for six months and and and and 12 months of whatever it is and
25:56
The most important thing is besides that, is that has to be a click between a coach, and the one that’s being coached.
 brandon handley
26:02
For sure.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
26:03
There’s not a click right now. Sure, we can be on the phone for 15 minutes and then after 15 minutes we’ll talk for an hour and then we can
26:11
send some one of a click when we can say okay let’s let’s work together. You know, I was really comfortable with you.
26:18
Right, that’s still no guarantee. So I’m going to commit you to six months or 12 months of your time never know how exactly it’s going to go. Maybe you are grow me in a month. Then what I hope so. I’ve done my job right.
26:33
Sure that it happens right
 brandon handley
26:34
Right. Absolutely. Absolutely.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
26:36
So I start off each month and and we’ll just take it from there. And that’s the most important thing just deliver as much value as I can, towards anybody that works with me.
26:48
And just make sure that you know you get all the results. And hey, sometimes I helped one person actually not a father. In this case, but
26:56
And and she’s making now way more money than I am. It’s ridiculous. And it was just, you know, just listening to her, ask her a couple of questions and saying, look, it seems like you need to do this, this and this next step.
27:10
Try it. You haven’t. I’m scared to do that. And that’s exactly what you need to try and hopefully you eat, but if you feel this great too because you learn a lesson from it and never next time and she landed at $5,000 client.
 brandon handley
27:22
Nice.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
27:23
And I was like, whoa.
 brandon handley
27:26
Whoa. So said, look, I mean you get results. So that’s also awesome you get results. I want to also I want to
27:32
I want to direct people to your YouTube page fearless fathers for a couple of reasons. Fearless fatherhood.
27:41
One is because I’m on there and
27:43
And what I like about
27:45
What I like about where I am. There’s, there’s a couple things that you have on here which you so you’ve got your interviews you do a great job of also breaking up your interviews, which is also something
27:57
That is highly recommended you break up different interviews and the sections which I like.
28:03
You know, just pull them out some of the nuggets of the full thing that’s very that’s very nice to meet you also.
28:11
You also have up there. I’m not sure I didn’t know whether or not this was intentional or not, but so you do your video messages as an introduction.
28:20
To random people. And I don’t mean like random by like the people that you want to have an interview with and
28:26
And I went through the list of who you know you kind of want to do an interview with but you have people out there like Michael Jordan. I want to find
28:35
I want to find the list, real quick here. Where is the videos reaching out to. So you’ve got this playlist of videos reaching out to others, like you know Tim Ferriss
28:45
Larry hagner Jim shields Dwayne Johnson and Robert Kiyosaki has. I mean that’s that’s ballsy and and
28:54
I love that because that is fearless right you are going, you’re going after it and and the other, the other part that was really awesome was finding my name squished in there like in between
29:05
With all these people. And I was like, man, that’s, you know, that makes me feel good. So I don’t know why you know you let those messes up there, but it was pretty cool to see that, you know, this is, this is what you’re going after. And I think that that to me is also impressive.
29:20
And a lot of having talked about that. Then again, we’ve also got a couple moments. So I want to do a rapid fire thing here for your Klaas at the, at the end of most of these asked a couple standard questions. So what was, what is fatherhood mean to you.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
29:36
It means completed rapid fire, right, I have to repeat
29:41
It because we still got
29:43
We still got over 20 minutes if you want
 brandon handley
29:45
Oh, do we? OK
 Klaas van Oosterhout
29:46
So rapid fire fatherhood. What means. What does it mean to me. It just means being the best example you can for you kids inspiring them every single day and being inspired by them.
29:55
Because in the end, our kids teach us more about ourselves, then we can and we will, we can we can learn from ourselves.
 brandon handley
30:02
Yeah, like that like that was like one of the biggest things that you’ve learned about yourself through that journey.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
30:09
And
30:11
energy and energy is everything. And what I mean by that is that because I saw that I need to be there for my kids and I wanted to be crazy with my kids to show them that you know it’s okay to be crazy. I quickly my energy went because I wasn’t fit.
30:29
And that was one of the biggest lessons I got to be fit. I gotta train
30:32
I got a my mind and my body. Got to be fit and to give my all when it’s necessary when I’m with my kids and the other one is patience.
30:43
So patience and the beginning I have something just wanted this and then please. People don’t start
30:52
throwing my kid out the window right
 brandon handley
30:54
It’s tough. Yeah.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
30:55
I mean I think everybody had that situation. I didn’t grab your throne. By the way, I just know it gave me head is like, why doesn’t he stopped crying What’s wrong with this kid.
31:04
Now turning it around. Now I learned. No. No. What’s wrong with me. What am I not doing right and take a couple deep breaths and an approach it differently, what we’re all trying to do is we trying to achieve the same thing, right, I got two kids now and they’re both completely different.
31:20
The second one is
31:22
Why. Sometimes I call him Diablo which means never right he’s just not I go to school, pick them up and then tell me again. Oh, you hit a kid again. He pushed the
31:33
Place in the ground again. It’s like, why does he do this. And then I saw him in the park today with this big shoes and you get the girl in the head. And I’m like,
31:42
It’s like
 brandon handley
31:43
It’s not funny, but I can totally relate. Because my younger son is a, you know,
31:49
I and I just wonder, too, is, is that just a second child because they’ve also you know they’ve got the older one and they’ve got to try and make a name for themselves or something. So I can I can I can sympathize, sir.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
32:00
See, and that’s the thing everybody saying yes, the second child, and then I’m going. Okay, so what are we doing wrong. Right.
32:08
It’s not, there’s always a second challenge. No, no, no. Dash something and consistently that us as fathers are not doing the right way to make sure that the second child.
32:18
And that’s the way I see it, because when we try to do is like you first were focused and you only have to focus on one child.
32:26
Sure. Right. And then just raised him and that was easy because it was only one and then you thought that you had the second one. So one is easier because she could do the same thing.
32:35
And there’s not
32:38
An hour with with Alex with our youngest one. I’m just trying different approaches.
32:43
Sure. Now, I tried spanking them on the ass when you hit somebody and stuff like that. Is it working. No.
 brandon handley
32:49
Though
 Klaas van Oosterhout
32:49
So we look for something else. Right. Some kids that works. I mean I spanked. My oldest one once and the message came through and and never happen again. Yeah.
32:59
I don’t condone spanking. By the way, I know I’m talking about it, but I know because it’s the biggest example, it makes the biggest impact because everybody we talked about spanking is like, whoa. So, and
 brandon handley
33:10
I was just going to edit it out Klaas.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
33:12
Oh, that’s okay.
33:14
So you call me.
33:18
So do you have to find different things. Okay, so now what I’m going to take away his toys. So if you do this, I’m going to take away the toy. You’re not going to see for a week. Does that help, no.
33:27
Okay, so I thought to the next number. What do we do, we try to do the same thing every single time and hoping that we get a different result. Right.
33:36
And that doesn’t work. It just doesn’t work. So now this is for you to laugh. So now I am going to do all positive everything he does great I say positive. So this is what happens now.
33:50
Alex showered him so he’s three right so he showed I showed him. But then he he dried himself off. You got himself dressed you brush your teeth. So, and he was really nice good no complaints. So I was really happy to write down actually did a great job.
34:05
His big brother is like, what about me?!
 brandon handley
34:09
Right, right, right, right. Yeah. Well, yeah, look. You got it, you got it. You got to carry that across the plan. I love that. I love that you stumbled across that to write it sounds to me to like I’m one of the things that, uh,
34:22
And and this was for me and you can tell me that if this has happened happened for you doing these podcasts introduces you to so many other ways of, you know, the approaches. And then another thing for me doing these podcasts these interviews is like
34:41
These conversations really re instill who I am and what I’m about. And so I have to walk the talk. If I’m not walking the talk I shut up about it.
34:50
I stopped talking. I can’t talk about it. If I’m
34:52
Not doing it. Has that been similar for you.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
34:55
No, no, absolutely. Hey, whoa, yeah, I totally agree. So, so why do you teach what you preach is is for you gotta try yourself.
 brandon handley
35:04
Right, right.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
35:05
Somebody I this is what you gotta do. Now you can of course you can, but
 brandon handley
35:10
I can’t I am unable to physically…
 Klaas van Oosterhout
35:16
Like, I can’t do it.
 brandon handley
35:18
It’s, it’s, it’s interesting, and I appreciate it. Right.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
35:21
Well, you can give somebody advice in regards to, for example, I don’t have girl, so I can’t you know I can’t relate, I can put you can give somebody advice.
 brandon handley
35:29
Search. Sure.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
35:29
I mean I not doing it because I don’t have daughters, but I can give you advice on it.
35:34
But not in a sense, like, oh yeah, this is what you must do I actually don’t read I think anybody tells me this is what you must do. And all my hair’s go out and it’s exactly not what I do, even though it might be investing for
 brandon handley
35:44
Sure, sure. I think that I think that the idea is, though, you know, to share your experience. And this is, hey, this has been my experience. This is how we approached it and this is what worked for me. Right.
35:54
To do what, what was your relationship like with your father.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
35:59
And really good and still is.
36:05
However, he was that, see I can. I’ll go in a little bit back more and that just because
36:14
The great thing that I found about my dad and also my mom is that they have broken through their childhood, like they they didn’t have an s going to tell you that I had
36:26
And they really change, like, you know, the whole thing around. And now we’re all as a family working towards making that continue to my children. Right.
36:37
There and my dad was a difficult and
36:42
Father, where he just went to work every single day. Like I wouldn’t see him in the morning and I would hardly see him at night.
36:48
But it’s because he worked and worked and he were far away. Like, I think it was like an hour and a half by train and then coming back as also an hour and a half.
36:57
But all my all my memories of him. I’ve always been fun and always will be like always helping every single time and
37:08
always positive.
37:11
And the only thing I missed. And that’s what my mom brought to the table now lately is just the whole thing about being an entrepreneur, making an impact in the world. And that’s what we’re going to be at a show. Muy Thai Pro, for example, is a business that I have to get my mind right
37:25
Because my whole family’s everything my dad’s great and he’s an amazing grandfather
37:31
And. And the reason for that is, is that because they are both so conscious towards their health and their energy and that’s what they’re working on. They got they do start their own business.
37:39
At the 65 to start their own new business online business and working on that right. Age with Care, and they’re working towards sharing what they learned as
37:52
People that now don’t have jobs and whether they’re that they’re living differently. Right. But you sharing their nuggets with people as well we’re doing now with shops and that’s inspiring for me and it’s going to be inspiring for my for my kids as well.
 brandon handley
38:07
Love it. What is what is something that your father did that you find yourself doing as a father.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
38:18
Staying back
38:23
So what I mean by that is that
38:26
He will let me figure things out and he will let me literally fall on my face.
38:34
However, he was always there. And that’s exactly what I do, so I let them when for example when they’re playing on the playground. I let them play
38:42
Instead of going all the time who, be careful with this will be careful with that, you know, right, and they fall and up we start running towards him, and seeing if they’re okay, now let them fall and let themselves pick themselves up.
38:55
Just make sure that you’re always there. My dad just to give you an idea right he let me play out there was a soccer field right behind our house. He let me play with big guys like I was young and I was, be honest, playing with adults soccer and
39:13
He would just let me do it. However, when they would come out with alcohol or started smoking marijuana. And as you know, in the Netherlands marijuana smoking is legal.
39:21
He would immediately be there and call me and take me away from that situation because he knew where that leads to. Right, sure. And that’s what I, that’s the thing. I think the biggest thing that I learned from him is like
39:34
You gotta let somebody give somebody the opportunity to make their own mistakes and and grow on their own, but whenever it’s necessary. Whenever and it’s it’s still up until this day, if I need in, boom.
39:47
If I call him right now and say, look,
39:49
I can handle right now with me, guys, you know, my mother in law’s right next door. She’s very sick. I think we’re in the last weekend last two weeks of her life.
39:57
And I’m taking care of her. And it’s very hard. It’s very tossers running a business and running my kids moving everything
40:03
I know if I call them right now and tell him that I can’t handle it, you will be here in four hours it takes four and a half to get here. But you know what I mean. And that is, I think the biggest thing I learned from him and the biggest thing that I do is what for my kids.
 brandon handley
40:17
Like that. I think it’s really impressive. You know, to have that
40:21
As also important to allow the children.
40:26
To build some type of resilience
40:28
Right then sounds like that’s what He taught you. So I like that a lot. Um,
40:33
You know, let’s say 10 years goes by and you have to leave a message for your children today that they’re going to receive in 10 years. What would you like to thank them for
 Klaas van Oosterhout
40:46
What would I like to thank them for
40:52
For helping me
40:56
And say this for helping me improve myself every single day. It’s, it’s, I, I do it for them not. Not as much anymore now is in the beginning. In the beginning, I really needed that like I’m doing this for them and I also do it for me because
41:14
I got that motivation. I am there now. Right. But I needed that first thing and that’s thanks to my kids. And then also just for the for the joy.
41:24
For the absolute joy that they bring in my life. I mean,
41:27
Both my kids, they just the biggest joy moments are when they just they’re playing and all sudden, they just start playing around. I don’t know why, and then come at you as you want to give you a hug, they just want to give you a kiss. Right. And it just lights up your world.
41:45
To have that happen to you, right, that that unconditional love that just comes out of nowhere.
41:51
And, you know, I’m a sucker for hugs. So when I get mad. They just go hug hug, and then you know my madness is gone because I can’t resist not getting a hug. That’s pressure right so it would be definitely that
 brandon handley
42:04
That’s huge. That’s huge. I love that. And you know what i heard in their class. And this is, this is something that
42:10
I’m personally still working on how to really introduce this to others. Maybe this is something you can help me with is, you know, when people talk about the children being a blessing. Right.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
42:23
Um,
 brandon handley
42:24
And children are a gift. Right.
42:28
To me.
42:30
You know, the children are a gift in the fact that they help you to see who you truly are. And that’s what I’m hearing you say is that, is it would. I would that be correct.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
42:40
No, no, absolutely. That’s absolutely correct. Yeah.
 brandon handley
42:43
How do you present that to other people. Like, how do you present that that very fact to to others.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
42:51
As well, great question.
42:53
So I think there’s also some things that you do just I’m constantly right so sometimes you really have to think like, oh yeah. How do I do that. Well, for one, is, you know, I go to live every single day and I share what happened.
43:04
To, to make sure that people see what what it does. Right, and I think it was, I think, actually, you and I talked about this, that, that, you know, in the media and the movies and everything being a dad is just so
43:18
Negatively published. I don’t know who shared it on Facebook, where there’s a picture of
43:24
Some famous musician when he was young and then what do you want to get. And when he had like three kids are more use I’m old and gray and that’s what we as media show know getting gifts will make you old and it’s like not it doesn’t
43:40
Right, if you think it does, then absolutely
43:43
For sure, but it shouldn’t get give you life, then I love Tony Robbins always said, You know, I keep listening to him every single day. And of course, then I hear him repeating and every single day, you know,
43:57
happiness comes from progress daily progress every single day. We need to make progress in life to be happy right to feel good about ourselves and my kids.
44:06
Make sure that I make daily progress because they will make sure that I come across my failures, either as a father as a husband as as a man so much faster.
44:20
Than I could myself. You guys do things and unconsciously, we think too much. They don’t so they
44:29
That will just hit you in the face. And you’re like,
44:33
Yeah, he’s right. Ah, that makes sense, right, they will go and have fun and you get no good best example you give them a huge gift. Right. And what do they play with the box.
 brandon handley
44:47
The goddamn box Klaas.
 Unknown Speaker
44:49
Right.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
44:52
So we get upset because they don’t play with what cost you. Let’s say 100 bucks.
44:57
Right, right. But look at it differently step backwards step out of that ego and look and what is it teaching you.
45:05
It teaches you that they’re happy with whatever is around them whatever they can play with at that moment, because it’s their new and exciting and then we get something new and we
45:17
We don’t have that excitement for some reason anymore. And that’s something I’m still trying to work on as we find that excitement. Find that energy that I used to have something new happening and
45:28
Now it’s more like we are afraid of something new because we also failed we hurt ourselves with trying new things. Try trying to a new girlfriend. She dumped you try and
45:37
She started cheating you like massively. And it’s like, well, no, I know I’m going to take it really slow or whatever. Right, so
45:45
But then you just didn’t think that way, you didn’t. You didn’t even know it. So whenever it doesn’t matter you and I’m trying to Mike is like fail, fail as often as possible. Just keep going, just keep going take action. Love it just love the journey. Love it. And that’s
46:03
Yeah, sorry. I went on a rant.
 brandon handley
46:05
No, you’re good, you’re good, you’re good. I think, though, that the part here too is right, like, you know, how do we how do we discussed, and have we share
46:12
That you know what a gift. Children are to us. What is it, what is it that makes them the gift. And I think that in what you’re saying there’s is there showing us that
46:21
There can be happiness simply with what’s around us. There can be happiness in simplicity, it’s, it’s, it’s, it’s a, you know, what we’ve allowed ourselves to build up around ourselves.
46:33
That is causing this discomfort and and we’ll call it this dis ease right that, uh, that, that, that we have these are learned tendencies. As we can see, simply by witnessing our children as they are happy with who’s around them.
46:47
And what’s going on, whereas we have to relearn that and we are able to do that by watching our children. Does that sum it up.
 Klaas van Oosterhout
46:57
Yo, I just want to add something, it just popped in my head right now.
47:02
As an giving you the example of giving a box to the kids.
47:05
And then they get the gift, and I don’t believe gift to give to play with the box.
47:09
While we of course you play with the gift. We don’t play with the box anymore.
47:12
And actually, it just hitting my head is like that’s the same thing with with my wife. She brings us that gift. Right. And what do we do, not what we should do. And that’s also played with a box now. Sorry I, that sounds weird but
 brandon handley
47:27
I will tell her good
 Klaas van Oosterhout
47:28
You’re right. We just got to make sure as well that that you continue to play pay attention and show appreciation to the one who gave you that gifts. So often we forget that that gifts.
47:44
Was carried by our wives for nine months. Right. Yeah. And then all of a sudden know now it’s like we get mad at her for for stupid things for for not having sex with us because we are horny and she’s not
47:59
For for telling us something that’s actually the truth, but we do not want to hear it. So we get upset with her instead of being upset with ourselves. Right, sure. I mean,
48:08
I help her out with the laundry. I can’t fold for shit dude for she had. So, and then she says like
48:15
Dude, can you just for once?? And you get mad with her because she’s trying to help you actually learned away how to fold, something that just like why are you not happy because I’m helping. It’s like, no.
48:25
Just, you know, so that’s another thing be happy with the gift be also stay happy and appreciative of you know the box when it came out of that sounds really
48:36
Unappreciative. You know what I mean.
 brandon handley
48:37
Yeah, I think that, you know, you know,
48:39
Take, take, take that away. I don’t think that like, you know, nobody. The message is clear. So the messages. And I think that the message is true. Right.
48:50
Don’t take for granted the those those loved ones in your life, especially you know your wife because she is a huge part
48:59
Of the whole experience. And sometimes that’s easy to forget. And sometimes, you know, I think that as men to we tend to think that the whole world on our shoulders. We’re trying to do this all by ourselves and we forget that we’re partnered up with somebody else in this
49:14
Great message Klaas. I love that. Where can I send people to find fearless fatherhood Klaas van Oosterhout
 Klaas van Oosterhout
49:23
Yeah, love it so
49:28
I think the biggest where we all at is is on Facebook, become a fearless father page that that’s the biggest one. And of course, you already mentioned, like I’m on YouTube with become a fearless father
49:42
I’m on iTunes. Now I learned from that, from Andy Storch. So that funny story for next time. And so go to fearless father, if you take a few click it on
49:53
ITunes podcast as well. You will find me there. And I got a special closed Facebook group for all the dadpreneurs out there and we’re Kenyon is in and and you as well. And then other fathers out there.
50:07
That are also entrepreneurs , because we’re a different kind of breed. So we have different challenges and we try to feel really, really different and special
50:16
So I got a special group for that. So if you are a dadpreneur please and please come join us. It’s a great group and we help each other out grow as fast as possible and face challenges head on and kill them as fast as possible as well.
50:28
And and that’s really my yeah and then become a feel his becomeafearlessfather.com, of course.
 brandon handley
50:33
Awesome, man. Well, listen. Keep up what you’re doing. I think what you’re doing is really special, you are you’re encouraging others are encouraging me you like you’re, you know,
50:41
reinvigorating me. I’ve been at this for a couple years now and you know it’s really encouraging to see you approach it the way that you are you are approaching it with full passion with full energy and
50:53
I think that shows so continue doing what you’re doing because it’s really, it’s really encouraging for FOR ALL PEOPLE ALL FATHERS, especially
 Klaas van Oosterhout
51:01
I appreciate it. And yeah, I’m really looking forward with with continue to work with you and can you know I’m getting our book out, it’s going to be as well drastic. So everybody
51:12
Says bestseller is Yep, exactly. It’s going to be absolutely fantastic. So let’s
 brandon handley
51:17
Look forward to that
 Klaas van Oosterhout
51:18
Another step for for all of us. And I think that’s important, right, to keep moving forward towards realizing our passion and are making an impact in the lives of fathers that are struggling with whatever that is. Because every day is a different struggle.

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