BJJ Report 20150523

If you have been looking for a group of like minded fathers who are willing to support you as you
would support them to chase their dreams, share their challenges, and intermix your wisdom with theirs than be sure to join the closed facebook group:

Get it all, enjoy it, make it yours, and if you continue to enjoy it, be sure to share it!


Looking for an in-depth conversation about the ideal you & fatherhood?
Pick a time from this link and let’s get down to it!

Date Night Conversations with CoHost Meg Handley

Event: FREE if you are a member of
Fatherhood for the Rest of Us
Motherhood for the Rest of Us

No More April Fresh

Downy April Fresh… You KNOW the scent… it’s got its own candle… it’s got scented beads…fabric sheets… liquid form… it is straight iconic.

I loved smelling it comes out of my neighbor’s vents when we would play football in the backyard on our days off from school, and I would wonder why our laundry didn’t smell like that.

As a matter of fact, the scenario exists 30+ years later… my neighbor’s laundry smells April Fresh & mine just doesn’t seem to reach that nirvanic state of unimaginably fresh laundry… I want to say I am over it… and I am in a way.

Now, if you are like most of the men I know these days, you work your ass off, either in an office, on the road in sales, on the road delivering goods, working on cars… you start your day off smelling fresh, that may be in part to your landry,perhaps it is Downy f*cking Fresh, or Gain Fresh… and you have washed your finely crafted temple with something like Irish Spring, Dove Mens Care (check out recent article love this stuff), Old Spice Swagger.

You shaved using Gilette Best a Man can f*cking get gel, Mach 27 ultra blade, or a rusty single edged Bic, perhaps none of these and you use a bad ass straight razor or you are way beyond dollar shave and use a wet blade, a badger brush and whip up your own suds of handcrafted just for men sandalwood facial soap. Perhaps you even go so far as to don a bit of aftershave… are you an Avon man? Old Spice? For what its worth you can NOT beat Pinaud Clubman products.

And perhaps you do all of this as you are exiting your local CrossFit box – you just finished up your WOD (Workout of the Day)… you crushed your burpees… you rowed some… you did your box jumps…skipped some GD rope… you just burnt nearly 300 calories in 20 minutes… you are… lets face it… a legend… or at least on your way to becoming so.

You have conquered all that that there is to conquer the morning, your body, the diet, the hand-picked razor, the finest in all haircuts, your beard oils, your mustache is twisted just right. And your clothes…smell Downy F*cking Fresh… or like Snuggles the Cuddly goddamned bear… does your toothpaste still taste like bubble gum? How the shit did this happen? Everything about you SCREAMS *MAN!* Except for your fine threads… they smell like your mom is still dressing you… there was one last decision to be made, and you were like f*ck it… yeah that lavender scented Gain will do.

No. No it will not… men who make decisions don’t smell like lavender, they don’t smell like cuddles the god damned bear, they smell the way the Brawny Man looks. They smell like they have been wrapping the morning up the way they would like to wrap up the evening, like handcrafted Cuban cigars going hand in hand with your favorite single malt scotch… you can hear the one giant ice cube in your tumbler now… hell, you inhale right now you may even be able to smell it.

My guess is that when you go to take that breath you smell like a lavender soap dish or whatever it is you or your significant other grabbed from the laundry aisle as a matter of habit… maybe not bubble gum, but it may have even looked like candy…

Where is this going?

Men, it may be time for us to put on that finishing touch to our laundry… all of this came bubbling to my head as I spilled a fair amount of Dove Mens Care Deep Clean in my suitcase all over my clothes… I thought about washing them… but then I realized all of the above… and said to myself… nope… gonna just let that soap dry out in my clothes as is and smell fresh to death…

This is my plea to Dove or Downy or Gain for some men specific clothing care… crisp… clean… cutting… even fabric softener sheets would be cool… real cool.

Brock N. Lusch | Stay at Home Dad | Super Husband | Minisode

In this episode, Brock & I chat more about stepping into your greatness.  A large portion of what we chat about is from his blog and can be found here.

Brock is a stay at home dad who is leading the charge in Cincinnati as the head of the City Dads Group (a national organization with around 10k members).

Brock is a special kinda guy, we connected prior to this event and spent a good amount of time chatting it up prior to and during the event.

While Brock is indeed crushing it, as they say, I had the opportunity to watch someone flourish in what can only be called an aggressively nurturing environment.

Brock was able to connect in person with the founding members of City Dads Group and they poured into him!

When that is done to you there is little you can do but grow in a way that is unheard of… Good on you Brock, and keep up the awesome work!

Excerpt:  “My son told my wife like when I grow up I want to be a stay home dad, to me your heart can’t get any bigger.”

Photo Credits

Manuel Gonzalez | Dad

Jason Kestler | CEO Kestler Financial

Hope you are ready for another amazing episode of Fatherhood for the Rest of Us!

This interview with current CEO of Kestler Financial, Jason Kestler, walks us through whats hot in his area of the financial industry.

We discuss items like owning a business and being a father.

Reconnecting with his father, and learning new skills.

Using experience as the educator.

Having a workforce that is like a family and maintaining that culture.

And as always we dig into fatherhood =)

Please reach out to Jason and say thank you for taking the time to share his story with all of us here at Fatherhood for the Rest of Us!


Jason Kestler is a highly successful entrepreneur and financial services executive with over 23 years of success within marketing and numerous verticals of the financial services. He has proven his thought leader status within the industry and is widely recognized for his ability to innovate stale processes and procedures to increase efficiency, amplify company strengths, create market distinction, and increase revenue. He has a unique but effective management style that incentivizes success through accountability, which has enabled him to recruit and retain top talent within the industry. He specializes in sales, small business development, wealth management, fixed annuities, retirement planning, insurance, strategic planning, organizational development, advertising, lobbying, SEC/FINRA regulation, leadership, process engineering, and human resources.

Currently, Jason is the owner, and CEO of Kestler Financial Group (KFG), which was founded in 1988. He was responsible for every aspect of its development and operations, including sales, marketing, advertising, HR, and legal compliance and representation with 50 state insurance commissioners, the SEC, FINRA and the Department of Labor. Under his leadership, the company has grown from a handful of advisors to more than 5,000 across all 50 states.

Between 2013 and 2015, KFG reported an average revenue increase of 28%, with an 82% increase from 2014 to 2015. They have been featured in Inc. Magazine’s fastest growing privately held companies in the country, and KFG is the recipient of the National Conference for Database Marketing’s Database Excellence award for effective implementation of automated messaging to their advisors. Jason also oversees operations for Branch Development Partners, a securities firm and sister organization to KFG; he conceived this division and launched it to tap into the tightly regulated securities market.

Concurrent to his duties at Kestler Financial Group, Jason is a founding partner of the actuarial product design firms Market Synergy Group and The Annexus Group. The two companies develop and market proprietary investment products to organizations such as KFG and their competitors. Jason is also an avid angel investor who mentors young business owners within his community.

In addition to his executive career, Jason has a history of working with multiple Board of Directors for several organizations. As part of Vistage International, he participates in board meetings as a consultant for sales, compensation, negotiations, and employee acquisitions; he is the Founding Co-Chairman of the Insurance Marketers Advisory Council; he was the Secretary for the National Association of Fixed Annuities Board of Directors; and a member of the Alianz Life Insurance Company’s Field Advisory Board.

Over the course of his career, Jason has repeatedly proven himself to be a thought leader within the field of financial services. His company was one of the first to require product training for advisors and he regularly lobbied on Capitol Hill as part of National Association of Fixed Annuities (NAFA) to challenge the SEC on rulings that were damaging to the industry. Jason has been a speaker and panelist at IMAC and NAFA events and regularly develops and conducts training seminars for his advisors. He has appeared in multiple interviews with Inc. Magazine, Fortune Small Business, and Advertising Age and has appeared on the front cover of Direct Marketing Magazine.

He is a graduate of the Vistage International CEO Coaching & Leadership Development Program and the Covenant Group Executive Coaching & Study Group. He is an ASLAN Certified Sales Trainer, Certified Personality Assessment Analyst, and fully licensed in all fifty states for insurance sales.

If you have been looking for a group of like minded fathers who are willing to support you as you
would support them to chase their dreams, share their challenges, and intermix your wisdom with theirs than be sure to join the closed facebook group:

Get it all, enjoy it, make it yours, and if you continue to enjoy it, be sure to share it!

Looking for an in depth conversation on the ideal you & fatherhood?
Pick a time from this link and let’s get down to it!


Rawr!  Well, that is what a tiger sounds like right?  Pretend like you know me, and maybe you do, this is exactly the sound I would make, as a tiger… don’t be scairt…

So we woke up to day 17 with full knowledge that the cubs (tiger kids, our tiger kids) would be home today… because there may be snow… may… come on man… I get it, no infrastructure etc, but let a snowflake fall!  Although, I hear all kinds of horror stories of people being stuck for hours after just a small snowfall… and the story of how one time it took the bus’s four hours or so to get children home… and I have to remind myself that it’s for their safety and whatnot… at any rate, the boys were home, and no one got out to the gym today… not cool if you have tiger blood…

Image result for snow tiger whole 30

All I am saying is that I have a lot of energy and need to get some out, the 10-minute ab thing could have been done earlier in the day… and to be quite honest… I could have done it 2x or 3x and that could have done it… tell you what, when it comes to having patience with your children, tiger blood may gum up the works… if only momentarily!  Tomorrow I will have to do some type of Rocky work out… let’s find a picture that illustrates that…

Image result for rocky work out snow

Where the f*ck am I gonna find a sled around here… someone who reads this remind me to do this tomorrow… I think the kids combined will weigh as much as Micky…

Now that we have had our fun… we talked a little bit about tiger blood and how you have more energy, you have stronger workouts, you get mallet finger, etc…

Here is what else they say about it:

For others, this Tiger Blood stage feels more like a real sense of self-efficacy. It doesn’t mean things are perfect (or even easy), but you’re proving to yourself that you can do this, things are getting better, and you’re seeing improvements (small or large) almost daily. Your energy is steadier, you’ve got a firmer handle on the cravings, and you’re experimenting with new, delicious foods.  You may notice that your ability to focus is keener, your body composition is changing, your moods are more stable, you’re stepping up your exercise, or you’re just plain happier these days.

A lot of this is true… definitely the sense of self-efficacy… so cool to take this challenge on… it is a challenge… every time I reach for a grape, I see cheese sticks… every time I go to reach for dehydrated apricots there is a bag of pretzels or cheddar popcorn… and don’t think I don’t see you out of the corner of my eyes honey roasted almonds… don’t… just don’t.

Energy steady? Check

New delicious foods? Check

Ability to focus keener? Check! (this is a big win)

Body composition… stable moods… hrmm.. perhaps

Stepping up exercise? Check!

Plain happier?  Sure why not =)

Ok, I am caught up – day 17 has come and is nearly gone…

Have you experienced a Whole 30?

Share your tale!



Seems I may have decided to go to sleep last night rather than write up about how the Whole 30 was coming along.  I suppose that is where some part of the novelty wore off or is wearing off.  And or I was simply tired… since I haven’t committed the timeline on the Whole 30 to memory, why don’t you come along with me to check out what we should be feeling on day 12…

Days 12-15: Boundless energy! Now give me a damn Twinkie.

Ummm… to be fair, I did travel all week and my sleep schedule was kinda jacked…

The site says that you should be dreaming of Twinkies or some of your favorite cravings by now, even DREAMING of these foods… I am literally wracking my brains right now to think if I have been having these cravings, and to be quite honest, I don’t believe I have or perhaps I have had cravings but I am able to disregard the craving for a Snickers or Parmesan Cheese Crisps with suitable replacements… such as a handful of peanuts & raisins for one of these… and maybe a bit of smoked chicken breast or smoked pork…

Image result for whole 30 crazy

Furthermore from the site:

All joking aside, though, this phase gets really intense and for some people. This is the part of the program where our minds try to drive us back to the comfort of the foods we used to know.

They didn’t underline some people, but it makes sense, overall I am driven to more and more of these foods that are a part of this regime, the date bars have been interesting, I have also learned to make a few other types.  The apple bar, which I used the dried apples and dates.  The Apricot Coconut bar, also very delicious.  What I have essentially learned is that you can take most dehydrated fruits, add a little moisture if they need it, combine with nuts and whir in the blender, you have made a healthier tastier than usual treat that is Whole 30 compliant.

While we are here in the Whole 30 space, let’s understand that we are here to create healthy new habits, not so much exclude stuff we think we want.  This can be difficult if we were or are thinking of all of the things that you can’t have.  We can use a tactic believed to have originated from Ben Franklin – the T table.  Take your pros and cons and make a table, with pros on one side and cons on the other, like so:

[columns gutter=”20″][one_half]Snickers Con[/one_half][one_half]Snickers Pro[/one_half][/columns][columns gutter=”20″][one_half]Lots of sugar

Sugar is the Devil

Lots of Chemicals

My Body Doesn’t need any partially hydronated Soybean Oil

Corn Syrup also the Devil

Artificial Flavorings (can’t they name each one? )[/one_half]



[one_half]Tastes Great

Gives Energy Burst[/one_half][/columns]

Take a list, see which one tips the scales, get your brain to see that scale when you look at a Snickers and make a choice.  Know what your choice indicates and if you feel like the Snickers does indeed do you good, then choose the Snickers, otherwise choose something else, make another T chart if you need!  Make a game out of it =).


I had a little chuckle to myself as I wondered what I was going to put as my headline after I had tiger blood…

Local Man Runs Miracle Mile – according to CoSchedule and their headline analyzer, this will not do… the short version is that the sentence structure is lacking, the character count is good, however, the word count is not… interesting…

Let’s mess around with a couple others to see if we can do better…

Amazing Diet Inspires Spirited Man To Win Local Race –

this one ranked a little higher, but they still didn’t like my sentence structure, however, not all is lost:

Your headline shows positive sentiment. Headlines that convey positive emotion tend to perform the best.

Ok, one more and then we can move along…

Here Is The Method That Gave Me Stunning Abs

I actually did several variations, but this was the winner.

Why am I writing about abs in the headline?  One reason is that this Whole 30 reboot gives you a lot additional ammo to move from an already slender/slim frame and with a little bit of extra core work, it gives you the potential to get some decent looking abs.

That’s the plan anyway, and I suppose if after tiger blood, I put some extra work in, I will have some interesting 30-day results!

Great to be home!  Great to be in full control of the food again!  Wandering through the Denver Airport looking for Whole 30 compliant food was a bit of a pain.  I ended up eating two eggs & some spuds from Wolfgang Pucks for an ungodly sum of money… considering what was on the plate… but it was food and it was compliant so in it went… I had some backups in the bag, which interestingly enough they had me pull out of the bag to go through the scanner… a bag of dried figs, a couple Larabars & a bag of pistachios.  I have become a bit of a pistachio junkie…

Once I got home it was eggs again though, not a whole lot of time to put stuff together, Meg had an appointment to keep, the boys wanted to play and eat as well, not worth the effort to make something ultra complex, this time though I had some sugar free bacon from Harris Teeter along with a perfect avocado.

Overall, I am still fairly high spirited and enjoying this journey.  Meg seems to be in similar shape, she just fell asleep, she has been running the house solo and Finn was sick while I was away, so that is always a little extra taxing to have a child who is sick, on top of doing it solo, I would be asleep too!  Actually, I should be asleep as well!

Until tomorrow!


Whaaat!?!?  Only one week left before the legendary Tiger Blood!

I want you to go ahead an picture your worst possible scenario for the Whole 30, like you love doughnuts and you are forced to spend the day in Dunkin Doughnuts, or maybe you love Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, and for some reason you are touring the brewery (maybe you won it on Jan 3rd and the trip is today, this is sudden, unplanned etc)… but since you have COMMITTED to going through with the Whole 30, you may not have that fresh delicious Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, or whatever beer du jour is sitting there staring you in the face saying, “Drink me, no one needs to know”.

Why do I bring all of this up, well, my entire day has been like this.  First of all, I am travelling, and when I travel through the Raleigh Durham Airport, I tend to stop by Jason’s Deli for breakfast/lunch/dinner or the little BBQ place to grab some pulled pork and okra with tomatoes, so good.  I love both of these places, and the Rueben I usually grab from the deli, is 1000 calories alone… probably just fine that I wasn’t able to put that down the gullet.  I swing by Nature R Us (not the real name) and pick out a bunch of Lara Bars, some dried figs and I take a look at the menu hanging behind the counter… I see eggs and spinach… I think I am onto something here… as I begin thinking about some tasty breakfast food I ask the polite attendant as to whether or not there is any milk in the eggs.  She pauses thoughtfully, says, I dunno… let me call someone… she reaches out to who I don’t know… hangs up and says, yup, there is milk in the eggs… the eggs are off the table!  I grab a banana instead…

Midair there was some more breakfast food, but I wasn’t gonna even bother, one was an egg sandwich and the other was in some type of black mystery food box type thing…

As we land in Denver, one of the first signs that catches my eyes is an Einstein Bagel shop, man they used to be everywhere!  And they have great bagels!  Whatever happened to the bagel craze?  One of my favorites was an everything bagel toasted with cream cheese, tomatoes & onions, and alfalfa sprouts if they could be had.

Let me cut to the chase, I meet up with my coworker in downtown Denver at this place Hearth & Dram, where they have countless whiskeys up on the wall, along with all kinds of delightful brews of the carbonated variety… and the dinner menu is just something else!  They make all of their own cold cuts and other charcuterie that they serve up on a plate with local cheeses and some delectable flatbreads, spotted with sesame seeds… they have on the menu Chestnut Pasta, I don’t even know what the beep that is, only that it is something that tonight, I can’t have.  Somewhere on the menu is Roasted King Salmon, basted in brown butter…  you could baste my shoes in brown butter and there is a good chance that it won’t suck…

Now, the waiter was very good & attentive, but I needed to know a little bit more about what was in each item.  I knew that the charcuterie likely had some sugar, but as it is made in-house, we went ahead and inquired… there were trace amounts… the front of the house manager stepped in and gave me further details on all of the food items…  and as he tried to sway me, and I swayed, but I didn’t break… I knew that Meg was at home eating the same Whole 30 plan as myself, and to be honest I would have been irritated with myself (not 100% unforgiving) if I had given into things such as browned butter, wine sauce, potato pave…

In the end, I did have a great dish, the smoked hanger steak.. they smoke this thing for 24 hours, and then they pan sear it to give it a perfect crunch to its melt in your mouth interior… served up with charcoal roasted onions & grilled escarole…

What I didn’t have was caving in, and or guilt and some other nonsense…  it’s almost like a sick game of how much do you think you can take!?  Fun though, fun, glad to be doing it and sticking to it… 7 Days till Tiger Blood *ROAR*